Thanksgiving Season Has Arrived

Halloween has now come and gone.

The crunch of fallen leaves provides the soundtrack to your dog walks. The smell of logs burning in neighboring fireplaces fills the air. 5:00 PM sunsets paint the golden backdrop of your drive home from work.

These are the sights, sounds, and smells of the glorious period known as Thanksgiving Season.

Thanksgiving Magic, Feel It Happen

Thanksgiving is a decidedly American holiday.

For many people, it’s an opportunity to reconnect with family and friends; share an unrivaled feast of seasonal favorites; perhaps purchase some new toys or discounted gifts; and prepare for the transition into the hectic and expensive Christmas Holiday Season. 

Seasonal Tutorial

It’s really just a matter of simple calendaring.

Halloween falls annually on the last day of October and leads directly into the month of November. The time between Halloween and Thanksgiving — which changes dates but is always celebrated on the third Thursday of the month — occupies the majority of November. It’s a short chunk of time, but it’s also a very important time. 

Thanksgiving is not a holiday that flies by the seat of its pants. Ample planning and preparations go into celebrating Thanksgiving appropriately. Travel plans, guest accommodations, decorations, menu, seating arrangements, and a litany of other details must be properly taken into account.

Thanksgiving has even evolved into a three-part holiday, wherein the day before and the day after, both play unique roles in how many people celebrate.

Thanksgiving Eve has transformed into what some lame people refer to as “Friendsgiving,” providing an opportunity for non-familial gathering and has more of a party vibe to it than the actual Thanksgiving Day festivities. “Black Friday,” as some might call it (for now), has become a day of rest, recovery, and retail indulgence.

With Thanksgiving stretching over three days, it stands to reason that people unanimously recognize the 22-to-28 days between Halloween and Thanksgiving Day are unmistakably devoted solely to the preparation for, and celebration of, our National Day of Giving Thanks.

It’s a time to be thankful for what we have, the people in our lives, and the hope that our lives will continue to grow better and more complete, much like the symbolic cornucopia. 

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Hi, Haters

Unfortunately, there are some people out there who feel the need to ignore, diminish, skip over, and disrespect Thanksgiving, instead looking ahead to the Christmas season.

But doesn’t a pregame come… y’know… before the game?

This idiot definitely eats ham at Thanksgiving.

They sell bathing suits in November too. You going swimming , Coley?

Oh, fuck you, Target.

Acts of Thankless Aggression

A close friend of mine who has, for YEARS, tried to push his anti-Thanksgiving agenda has even claimed that the pandemic makes this the perfect year to start celebrating Christmas immediately after Halloween.

Had this been the first time he tried to pull this stunt, I might give it brief consideration — but to obfuscate his true intentions by using a worldwide tragedy, is as dirty a tactic as I’ve ever seen. 

This friend intends on putting up Christmas lights on his home this coming weekend, on Saturday, November 7. He requested my assistance in affixing his holiday illumination display on difficult-to-reach parts of his home, like on the roof and on tall landscaping elements.

To his request, I say this: 

Turkey Comin

Christmas deserves its own season. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as they say. To bastardize what constitutes the Christmas Season is as disrespectful to Christmas itself as it is to Thanksgiving. Anyone who actually cares about Christmas would understand this.

Perhaps those pushing the early-Christmas Season agenda aren’t actually lovers of Christmas at all, but rather, saboteurs seeking to dilute and devalue the magic of the holiday?

While this campaign of Christmas terror is certainly troubling, there is hope. For one thing, as we know from various other topics such as Presidential elections, what exactly constitutes pizza, and Lamar Jackson as an NFL QB, the loudest voices are representative of the ignorant minority. 

Here Comes the Cavalry

There are far more reasonable people out there dedicated to the preservation of Thanksgiving’s time in the spotlight than there are those seeking to destroy it.

These brave patriots help me to sleep soundly at night, knowing Thanksgiving will not go quietly into the night. For every lunatic putting up Christmas lights on November 7, there are countless thanks-givers defending the honor of gratefulness.

What Does This Mean for Football?

Furthermore, Thanksgiving is unmistakably intertwined with the NFL.

From noon until 11:00 PM, football is played and closely watched. Both the Lions and Cowboys traditionally play games on Thanksgiving Day; and more recently, a third game has been added to the schedule to round out the day appropriately. This year, we will be treated to the Ravens @ Steelers in the nightcap, which is extremely exciting.

The facts are starting to add up.

It stands to reason that those who seek to skip past Thanksgiving in favor of celebrating Christmas early, also wish to undermine the NFL. The crusade of misinformation by these Christmas hooligans is not only an assault on thankfulness, family, food, and the Gregorian calendar, it’s also clearly an endeavor to torpedo the NFL’s popularity in America. 

Final Word

I am doing everything within my power to expose this covert operation, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really even matter.

Rest easy, defenders of Thanksgiving. Pour yourself a Skrewball and kick up your feet.

A higher power will severely punish those who seek to undermine Thanksgiving.

Good luck, suckers.

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