As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been taking some time off from writing and recording podcasts.
It’s not that I’m no longer interested in producing football content. You’re all well aware that I love the game of football, and everything that goes with it. It’s just that sometimes, we all need to hit the reset button and take some time to ourselves.
When you take that time, it’s necessary to have a significant other that can pick up the slack, and take care of the things that you would normally take care of.
That’s what’s happening here. While cooking my second-favorite meal, she made her Week 8 NFL picks.
In case it was unclear, she made her picks from the kitchen, hence the title of the article.
She’s cracked double-digit wins in three of the last four weeks, so if you’re interested in winning straight-up bets, survivor pools, or maybe just bets with your friends, I’d pay attention.
Kelly’s Pick: Green Bay Packers over Minnesota Vikings
Michael’s analysis: This seems like a no-brainer. Aaron Rodgers is playing some of the best football of his career, and Davante Adams is one of the best wide receivers in the league. Rodgers has made something out of nothing, utilizing guys like Allen Lazard (OUT) and Marquez Valdez-Scantling after the Packers didn’t take a wide receiver in the 2020 NFL Draft. Aaron Jones is OUT (again) but Rodgers can carve up this fledgling secondary without issue. The Vikings defense is one of the worst in the league, and they got worse after trading stud pass rusher Yannick Ngakoue to the Ravens.
Kelly’s Pick: Tennessee Titans over Cincinnati Bengals
Michael’s analysis: Oh good, another no-brainer. The Titans defense hasn’t impressed in 2020, but they’re 5-1 for a reason. I’m not sure that the Bengals defense can contain Derrick Henry. Joe Mixon being OUT doesn’t bode well for the Bengals running game either, so they become one-dimensional. I’d look for a big game from Henry and A.J. Brown. Rookie Joe Burrow will put up numbers, but it won’t be enough for a win.
Kelly’s Pick: Kansas City Chiefs over New York Jets
Michael’s analysis: This might be the easiest pick in the history of easy picks. The Jets might be the worst team in the league (although Dallas may have something to say about that), while the Chiefs may be the best. If you’re looking for a blowout to bet on, this is the one – and I wouldn’t question betting a shutout.
Kelly’s Pick: Detroit Lions over Indianapolis Colts
Michael’s analysis: The Colts might have one of the best defenses in the league, but their offense has been relatively anemic. Part of that is the fault of Old Man Rivers, part of that is the fault of injuries. On the other side, the Lions have been.. playing.. good.. football? They’ve won three of their last four, and almost stole one from the Saints. Detroit in a close one is a good call.
Kelly’s Pick: Baltimore Ravens over Pittsburgh Steelers
Michael’s analysis: This is easily the toughest game to pick, this week. In the best rivalry in football, throw all of the stats out of the window. These games are almost always decided by one score. The Ravens have a work-in-progress offensive line going against a very good defensive line. The Steelers have a lot of playmakers going against a very good secondary. It’s old versus new and accuracy versus electricity at the quarterback position. The Ravens will need a big game from their new defensive line in order to pull this one out. We’re all taking Baltimore, but I’m not sure any of us feel good about it.
Kelly’s Pick: Los Angeles Rams over Miami Dolphins
Michael’s analysis: I’m not sure why the Dolphins thought it would be a good idea to start Tua Tagovailoa the week that he would have to face Aaron Donald, but here we are. As jaw-dropping as Tua could be in college, he’s behind a middling offensive line in the NFL, and doesn’t have a lot of talent around him. While Miami’s defense has been better than expected, you have to think they’ll be on the field a lot this week, which means Jared Goff, Robert Woods, Cooper Kupp, and Darrell Henderson while have a big second half.
Kelly’s Pick: Buffalo Bills over New England Patriots
Michael’s analysis: We live in a world where we can confidently pick the Bills over a Bill Belichick-led team. While Buffalo has struggled here and there over the past few weeks, this seems like a true ‘get right’ game for them. Cam Newton and his merry band of nobodies should be smothered by the Buffalo defense, and I’d expect a big game from Stefon Diggs against a Stephon Gilmore-less secondary.
Kelly’s Pick: Las Vegas Raiders over Cleveland Browns
Michael’s analysis: Baker Mayfield started the game against the Bengals by going 0-5 with a pick, and breaking Odell Beckham, Jr. He ended it by having a perfect passer rating and throwing 18-straight completions at some point in the second half. Which Baker is the real Baker? I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle. With no Odell, no Nick Chubb, and a battered secondary, the Raiders seem primed to bounce back after dropping a big game against the Bucs.
That One Random 4:05P Game
Kelly’s Pick: Denver Broncos over Los Angeles Chargers
Michael’s analysis: This is the first of just a couple disagreements. The Broncos defense isn’t good enough to stop rookie Justin Herbert, Keenan Allen, and Joshua Kelly. The Broncos offense isn’t good enough to do a lot of damage to Melvin Ingram, Joey Bosa, Desmond King, and Nasir Adderley. With both teams clinging to playoff hope life support, the Broncos walk out of this with a fifth-straight year of flatlining.
Kelly’s Pick: New Orleans Saints over Chicago Bears
Michael’s analysis: The Bears have one of the better records in the league, sitting at 5-2 and holding 2nd place in the NFC North. Are we sure that they’re a 5-2 team, though? I don’t think they are what their record says they are. The same could be said for the Saints, but in a match-up of ‘who are they?’ teams, you side with the battle-tested, future Hall of Famer and Alvin Kamara.
Kelly’s Pick: San Francisco 49ers over Seattle Seahawks
Michael’s analysis: This is another disagreement – I’m not betting against Russell Wilson’s offense. While the Seahawks defense has been downright miserable, they’re aware of it, made apparent by adding Carlos Dunlap. I do think they’re good enough to contain George Kittle and Brandon Aiyuk, since the 9ers have nobody else you’d consider a threat. The Seahawks need to establish themselves as the team in the NFC West, and beating the reigning champions is a good way to start doing that.
The Late Game
Kelly’s Pick: Philadelphia Eagles over Dallas Cowboys
Michael’s analysis: There’s absolutely no reason for the Battle of the NFC Least to be the Sunday Night Football game. I understand that it’s an old division rivalry, and that Jerry Jones is the richest owner in football. I get that they have to acquiesce to his demands and desires. But these are two trash teams, riddled with injuries. These are two teams that might win the division with six wins, and make the playoffs for no reason. I hate it here. Anyway. I see no reason why the Cowboys should win this game. Travis Fulgham and Boston Scott are going to have field days.
Monday Night Football
Kelly’s Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers over New York Giants
Michael’s analysis: This seems like another no-brainer. The Buccaneers are one of the best teams in the NFC, and the Giants are one of the worst. The Bucs have a lot of talent on both sides of the ball, and the Giants do not. The Bucs have an experienced head coach, and the Giants do not. Tampa Bay has an experienced quarterback, and the Giants.. you get it.
If you pick the exact same games as she did, you’ll likely go 11-2 (potentially 10-3; I did say that we don’t feel great about BAL over PIT) which is a seriously good week of straight-up bets.
Unless of course, this week falls apart. It’s the NFL. Any Given Sunday is a real thing. However, she’s on a hot streak right now.
Follow along with this article as it gets updated after each game has completed.