NZI Cheat Day: Volume 2

Last week’s edition of NZI Cheat Day ended with a call to action. I wondered, as that article was published, “Will the audience indulge this invitation to participate?”

A few minutes after the tweet was sent, I had my answer. Responses too numerous to count flooded my notifications. As promised, those responses will be featured here every week.

A concept on this site common to every team’s writer is called “Right, Wrong, and WTF,” so I am going to fulfill a longstanding dream of mine and recap the Cheat Day tweet replies in a format as though I am an unpaid writer covering the Las Vegas Raiders on a three-week-old website.

(Editor’s Note: Sorry you had to find out this way, Greg.)

One more thing, before we get into it. The responses this week were all amazing, but one particular fan of mine stood out. The concept must have really spoken to him; and really, that’s why I take my lunch pail full of sardines to the blog factory every morning with a smile on my face.


Fantastic first response. By starting with the word “well,” he made it very clear that this response would not be limited to one tweet. The detail is captivating, as Michael takes us through the entire cornbread preparation process, even going so far as to opt for “:45” [sic] rather than “45 seconds,” in order to mimic the clock of a microwave.

Don’t apologize for being you, Michael. I asked for feedback, and you gave it! I am grateful to know that you enjoy Goldfish snack crackers; I’ve written it down.


Michael, why are you starting a numbered list? I didn’t ask what you aren’t eating. I’m not sure why you’ve offered this information. And I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who doesn’t like Snickers.

Do you really want to know, Michael? It’s not good. What’s with the sudden negativity, and why have you decided to stop numbering your responses?

Uh, yeah, bro. Ya think? No Snickers and no tacos. Absolutely inconceivable.

Surprise, surprise. I honestly don’t think Michael truly understood the goal we were trying to achieve here. He’s ranting and raving about how he hates all the stuff everyone else is stuffing their faces with.


After all that, Michael hits us with a reasonable response about his Cheat Day food. Then, he drops the ad slogan, which I felt was a bit gratuitous. And then, finally, nestled firmly behind an improperly-spaced ellipses, he dropped the hammer on me with a big, fat “lol.” Laughed right in my face. He played me for a fool for everyone to see on Twitter, and now, for some reason, I am telling everyone about it here. 

Thanks for nothing, Michael, you’ve ruined Volume 1 of #NZICheatDay. It was all a ploy to get more attention for your Jets articles and followers on Twitter. Well played.

Moving on… we’re asking for your #NZICheatDay menu again, this week. The best replies get featured in next week’s edition, and we need enough replies this week to push Michael’s harassment to the bottom of the page.

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