Power Rankings: Volume 3

Folks, it has been quite a tumultuous week for the Power Rankings, data, and me as the Vehement Defender of Data.

To recap, the Power Rankings fell under siege at the borderline-illiterate hands of Drew on Saturday. Compelled by my undying commitment to data integrity, I responded to his cowardly ambush swiftly and forcibly

While the smoke was still clearing, Chibs threw his hat into the ring with a version of the Power Rankings I can only describe as “very cute” without risking my job here at NZI.

Days later, on Wednesday afternoon, Drew returned fire with the written version of blanks after promising my imminent Internet demise, calling further into question his credibility as a contributor to NZI. 

Drew, if you’re reading this — and I know you are, probably so you can study it and try to leech more clicks from my brain — please know that I’ve got you exactly where I want you.

In the immortal words of generational songbird and known pants-pisser Fergie, “I’m so 2008; you so 2000 and late.” (Editor’s Note: OH SNAP!)

The winds of change are swirling, and every flag is being blown in the direction of data.

Now that the Power Rankings drama has been summarized, let’s focus on the task at hand. Despite the attempts to distract me from my objective, data is unwavering, as is my dedication to it. Fresh insights from a powerful new data source have shaped this week’s ranking that is sure to be of interest to every NFL fan. 

Consider this past week a stress test on the Power Rankings infrastructure. The system proved to be unshakeable; the Power Rankings are a shining beacon of hope, impervious to toxicity, bringing joy* and satisfaction to every person with the good fortune to consume them.

Without further ado, and — as always — presented without bias and uncorrupted by opinion, here are this week’s Power Rankings:

1. Vikings (LR 13)
2. Jets (LR 18)
3. Giants (LR 18)
4. Ravens (LR 20)
5. Chargers (LR 30)
6. Rams (LR 30)
7. 49ers (LR 30)
8. Patriots (LR 14)
9. Football Team (LR 21)
10. Seahawks (LR 29)
11. Bills (LR 22)
12. Packers (LR 10)
13. Raiders (LR 28)
14. Cardinals (LR 25)
15. Falcons (LR 6)
16. Broncos (LR 24)
17. Texans (LR 1)
18. Cowboys (LR 1)
19. Jaguars (LR 15)
20. Dolphins (LR 15)
21. Bucs (LR 15)
22. Eagles (LR 26)
23. Steelers (LR 26)
24. Bears (LR 23)
25. Panthers (LR 9)
26. Bengals (LR 7)
27. Browns (LR 7)
28. Colts (LR 11)
29. Lions (LR 12)
30. Chiefs (LR 3)
31. Titans (LR 5)
32. Saints (LR 4)

*h/t wallethub

(Featured Image Credit: SocialMediaButterflyBlog.com)

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